As always, I agree with everything you've said; a lot of the things that you mention will be cleared up properly in the second draft and the perspective may switch between a couple of people with Damon being the main perspective. The scenery is the main thing that is missing at the moment, but I wrote it that way to start out to see how much I could get out of it without scenery, certainly not enough. You've also pointed out some interesting things I never even thought of, the idea about smells is brilliant; I'll definately be putting that in somewhere, probably during the eclipse and during his panic-blackout as you said. Oh yes, and the Damocles thing is an awful cliche but it's sort of what he is thinking rather than part of the text and should have been written more clearly to express this. I still think I will have to change it though because is it isn't really going to fit in with what I have in mind anyway, being that he would never have heard of Damocles.

Thanks Marcia, and Smiley (I think)