RE: problems with travels
Thank you for your comments, both of you.
Yes, I did know that the Canary Islands means "dog islands" - but I am not sure that that is what my mind is associating to. I have been there in awake life, a number of times, to several of the islands, and I really did not like it, any of the times. Its über-commercial, filled with old people and there are really nothing interesting to do, besides lying in the sun. I think my mind associates the place with "not very relaxing holidays" or "dutifully trying to look like I am enjoying myself". My ex-partner forced me to go there to have holidays with his elderly parents a couple of times and it was very depressing, although I remained the loyally smiling daughter in law. I also went there with my own mother during a period when I was still a smoker, but my mother was not not to know - so that time it was a holiday of "abstinence".
Another main focus in the dream was on the contents of the bungalow frigde; the various desserts, cheese, drinks etc. It is probably significant that I had bought it all for all of us to enjoy and that I was trying to make the stay as pleasurable as possible. The dominating feeling of the dream is about me making a great effort to do the best of the situation, and how the others are being plainly negative and miserable. The girls in the bungalow don't want to be cheered up. They complain and I am very eager for us all to have fun, despite the problems with the travels, over-bookings, cold weather etc.
Concerning their statement of "slimming for the beach" and how angry it made me in the dream, I can only say that it is a feeling that I have had a lot in awake life during many years. People complaining, sitting around and not wanting to be helped or cheered up, looking at me and saying that "you have it so easy".
Like if there was not a massive effort on my part to remain positive, pull my act together, swallow disappointment, gather energy, exercise, take care of my things, fulfil my tasks etc. Two of the girls in the bungalow - the ones complaining the most - are from my past, persons I dont have any contact with any more; but what they had in common was this "easy-for-you-to-say" victimised attitude. In the past I did everything in my power to make them happy, but it only resulted in them disliking me for being generous and uprovoked, like if my behaviour just proved their point that "I had it so easy".
I dont think it has anything to do with any particular decision taken in my workplace. I think it is more a matter of my behaviour and my reactions to other people. I have never used food as a soother - I think I am more the kind of person who would use fantasy: books, or film or day dreaming as the soother. Or alcohol. Or frantic activity.
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