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Old 01-22-2005, 04:54 AM
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Marcia Marcia is offline
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During the Middle Ages, there was a small Jewish community living in Rome. One day, it was announced that the Pope had ordered that all the Jews be expelled from Rome. Naturally, the Jews were heartbroken, as they had lived in their homes for many generations and had no idea where they could go.

After much begging and pleading on the part of the Jews, the Pope declared that he would give the Jews a chance. He announced that there would be a debate between himself and a champion chosen by the Jews. The rules of the debate were that the Pope would go first, neither participant would be allowed to speak, the subject of the debate would be religion, and the Pope would judge the debate. Upon hearing these rules, the Jews decided that they could not possibly win the debate; they might as well face the fact that they would be leaving Rome forever.

But before they were able to send a messenger to the Pope, declaring that they had given up, Chaim, a young Jew known for his lack of intelligence, announced that he would debate the Pope. The Jews laughed at first, but then decided that things couldn't get worse, and it might at least provide them with a bit of entertainment before they left, so they agreed to let Chaim be their champion.

The day of the debate arrived. The Pope stood with his Cardinals behind him. Chaim stood facing him, in front of the other Jews.

The debate began. The Pope pointed a finger toward the sky. Chaim responded by pointing a finger at the ground. The Pope then held up one finger. Chaim held up three fingers. The Pope then reached into his robe and pulled out an apple. Chaim took a piece of unleavened bread out of his clothing.

With that, the Pope declared. "I concede. The Jews have won the debate. They may stay."

The Pope and his Cardinals then walked off in one direction, the Jews in another.

"Excuse us, Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "but we don't understand what happened during the debate. Can you enlighten us?"

"Certainly," said the Pope. "I pointed upwards to show that God rules us from Heaven. The Jew responded by pointing downwards, to argue that the Devil rules from Hell below. I then held up one finger to show that there is one God. The Jew held up three fingers to show that God is represented by the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Ghost. I then took out an apple to show that some modern philosophers have stated that the world is round. The Jew took out a flat piece of unleavened bread to state that the bible teaches us the world is flat. The Jew has clearly won the debate. I must keep my word and allow the Jews to stay."

At the same time, the Jews of Rome clustered around Chaim, asking him to explain. "It's easy," said Chaim. "The Pope pointed a finger in the air, to say 'Jews, get out of Rome!' I pointed to the ground to say 'We're staying right here!' He then pointed a finger at me as if to say 'Drop dead!' So I pointed three fingers at him to say 'Drop dead three times!' Then he took out his lunch so I took out my lunch."
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  #282 (permalink)  
Old 01-22-2005, 02:16 PM
Maljonic Maljonic is offline
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  #283 (permalink)  
Old 01-29-2005, 05:17 AM
drjlvr9 drjlvr9 is offline
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You are SO SICK!!!! But I am no better! I know alot of "your mama" jokes.

Your mama like peanutbutter always ready to spread.

your mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked her mama!

I am full of those kind of things, enough to fill a book.
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