meeeooooowwww. Though I do agree with you..

A man and wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so the man bought his wife an expensive see-through nightgown.

Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realised the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "For feck's sake, for 250 quid they could've ironed it!"

Do you ever get mixed up and say the wrong words by mistake?
only this morning i meant to ask my girlfreind for the milk but instead said " your ruining my life you fucking bitch!"

Especially for goblin:

Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!

Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.

Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.

Patient: What! How about the bad news?

Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.

lol

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in London. They had been meeting at that park every Sunday for over twenty years... chatting, and enjoying each other's friendship.
One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years. . .What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."

The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon do you need to know?"

What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes.

two palestinian women shopping for cloths, one turns to the other and asks- "does my bomb look big in this?"

iamagoblin thats a brilliant, if maybe a bit nasty, joke.

Heres a couple of my [i]poor[i] jokes...

Girl meets a lad in a club, takes him home and says "tie me to the bed and do what lads do best". So he tied her up, farted, scratched his balls and shagged her mate. :P

Two mexicans, pedro and gringo, are walking in the desert. They've been walking or hours and are really hungry. All of a sudden Pedro screams "There's a tree with bacon and sausages hanging from the branches". Pedro runs over to the tree and just as he arrives there he is shot several times. With his dying breath he utters "Gringo, don't come over. It's not a bacon and sausage tree, it's a ham bush. :P