I was in a courtyard in someone's backyard. it was *supposedly* my ex John's room. he and I were sitting on his bed [a futon-bed thing that's a couch, too] and we were catching up and talking about old times. I was telling him how I should be packing because I was going to visit my grandparents [which I had actually planned to do but never did] and he said that was cool. Meanwhile, I'm freaking out about how I'm going to be leaving soon and *really* need to get to packing. then he asked what time that night I had to be picked up. and I said to him, "No, you don't understand, I need to leave *now*" and he got kind of annoyed, but helped me pack [for some reason all my stuff was already there, I just needed to pack it? not sure why, but ok]. He and I stop packing and look at each other. and then for some reason, we start slow dancing just right there. I'm resting my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, just taking in the way he smells [one of my favorite smells in the world] and taking in the old memories.

I see a door while we're dancing that has a window in it and I see my friend Danielle sitting there and every now and then, my mom passes by. So then, my mom interrupts us and says I need to leave now. I didn't want to leave just yet, and asked if I could take the train instead of a plane. and she said "No, that wouldn't be possible. and besides, you're not going to Washington [where my grandparents live]" then I'm asking her where I'm going and she just *won't* answer me and leaves, so my sister walks up and she tells me that I'm going to Brazil instead. I start freaking out, not because I'm going to a foreign country and because I don't know anyone there, but because they speak Portuguese and I only know basic Spanish. and I'm asking myself, "Why couldn't I be going to Argentina??" so I'm majorly freaking out and go over to John's couch/bed/thing and lay down and start crying. he walks over to me and kneels down to eye level and wipes away one of my tears. I just look up at him and confess to him how much I miss him.

[back story: John and I met two years ago and went out on date, but then he ended things. a few months later, we went on another date and I thought we'd be together finally. but then a few weeks later, he ended things *again* and was just so cruel about it and broke my heart. I wasn't the same, it really hurt. then we started talking at the end of 2008 and dated at the beginning of this year for about 6 weeks. I broke up with him at the beginning of March and we're still friends. We haven't hung out in person since before we broke up and keep making plans to, but never do. I really do miss him and I love him, but I'm kind of scared that he just wants to hang out to hook up and whatnot. and I just want to be his friend and catch up because I have a friend that I can hook up with and whatnot if I want to. and I'm not sure if I even want a relationship with him again.]

I think this dream reflects the fact that you still have feelings for John but have been repressing them in waking life because he has caused you too much pain in the past.

I think the part of the dream where there seems to be confusion between yourself and John about when you need to leave symbolizes confusion that you have about your feelings for him and whether the relationship should have ended.

I think when the dream changes and you start dancing with John, your unconscious mind is telling you to stop worrying and just think about the happy memories you had with him. Dancing is often a sign of happiness, and it can also be a sign of sexuality. The sexual aspect of the dream is further emphasised by the part where you are taking in his smells. Smelling is the most primitive form of communication and can symbolise your primitive, instinctive drives.

I think your mom and your sister represent the parts of your consciousness that want to protect you from more pain. They are trying to break into your fantasy and remind you of the reality of your situation, that life with John wasn't as great as you remember - Their version of the truth is different than yours - you have to take the train, not the plane, you have to go to Brazil, not Argentina.

Your concern that you don't speak the language (Portuguese) can be a sign that you are afraid that you don't want to have to learn how to cope with a new situation. You want things to be the way they were, in a situation in which you feel more comfortable (speaking Spanish).

Your mother telling you that you can't go to where your grandparents live can be a message that you can't go back to the past.

I think Danielle might have a similar role to your mother and sister in the dream, but that would depend on the qualities she has in waking life and what your relationship with her is like. It's interesting that these are all women and women can symbolize nurturing and protectiveness.

So I think the dream is just your unconscious mind sorting out the fact that you love John and miss him but you also know that he has hurt you and you need to protect yourself.

At the end, when you confess to him how much you miss him, you are letting yourself acknowledge your feelings for him and the fact that you were hurt by his leaving. I think doing this will allow you to heal and continue on with your life, whatever choices you make.