Sleep paralasis
New here. Not sure who reads this stuff, but looked like a place I could vent a little, maybe even get some feedback. As a kid, I had no idea what was happening, only that it scared the (insert bad word here) out of me. I was 12, things were rough at home, lots of things to could have contributed... I had gone to school all day and had a job in the evenings in a kitchen. I wanted to take a nap before starting my shift. I put a glass of water on the nightstand and proceeded to get comfortable. I heard a buzzing noise, it seemed like it was getting louder. I tried to jerk up, and realized I couldn't move. I could feel my body, hear my breathing, hear my thoughts, but I couldn't move any part of my body. It didn't take long before I began to panic. I wanted out. I keep trying, over and over again to jerk my head to the side. Wake up wake up wake up, I repeated in my head. I tried to talk, nothing but air. I could make myself breath harder, and faster, but no words would come out. I was screaming in my head. "Wake up!!" I remembered the glass of water. I could see nothing, but I knew it was there. I tried to move my arms. I think I scared myself awake. I sat straight up in the bed. It happened more and more frequently during my teenaged years. Always as I'm falling asleep. I became afraid to go to sleep. I tried to talk to my Mom, but she didn't understand, and past it off as nightmares. I became accutely aware of the noise, the buzzing that I always hear before I get "stuck". I am shaking now just thinking about it. That noise has become a monster to me. Sometimes I'm able to jerk myself awake when I first start to hear it and sometimes the jerking seems to backfire and pull me all the way in. All of this "activity" seemed to peak when I was 18. I became more concious of my surroundings while stuck in this half sleep half awake state, instead of darkness, I could see. Almost like my minds eye was filling in the blanks. Everything was in its place. I could hear my family members enter the room, and watch them move about. But I could not communicate in any way with them, no matter how hard I tried to get their attention. Then, one night, something entirely different happened. It started out the same, with the buzzing and the paralasis. I was just laying there, listening to the noise, hoping it would be over soon. I felt my legs start to lift off the bed, almost like I was starting to float, then my middle section came up. This happened 3 times. Each time I came further off the bed before waking up. On the third night I came all the way off the bed and floated into the corner of my bedroom. On a small table that sat in the corner of the room I noticed two small white objects that weren't there before. I focus on them, and seemed to drift down to their level. As they became clear, I recognized them to be two small ivory looking figurines. No bigger the a couple inches tall a piece. As I got closer, their shape became clearer until one resembles a woman in a cloak and hood and the other a man. I focused closer in on the mans face. As I looked at him, his face got brighter and more lifelike, color came to his skin. There was bright light behind him. As his face got bigger and bigger, I could see every line in his face. His facial hair, almost rugged. Soon I could see no more of the table, then the room. His face filled my vision. Then gone. I was back in my bed, sitting straight up, fully awake, completely dumbfounded. Two years later, I got married. We had our first child soon after. It hadn't happened again since the floating incident. I hadn't talked about it with my husband. I guess I hoped I was "cured". As suddenly as everything stopped, one evening it happened again. I was zoning in and out watching tv. I heard the noise and soon was stuck. My husband was on the floor below the couch. I tried as hard as I could to get his attention. When I finally woke, he asked me if I was having bad dreams. Said that I was moaning in my sleep. I tried my best to explain my experiences to him. He must have thought I was crazy. I couldn't figure out why it had gone so suddenly and hadn't returned until then. I can count on one hand how many times it's happened since then. Nothing for several years nows, until last night. I was watching a movie, not really into it. My husband had just come to bed and snuggled in next to me. We said out good nights and the next thing I remember was hearing the noise. I tried to jerk awake and found myself once again stuck. I could see my husband laying next to me. He wasn't asleep. I tried to talk, nothing but air. I made myself breathe harder, until I was basically hyperventillating. I could feel my chest raise and lower faster and faster, I could feel the air escape my mouth. I was panicing. That's all I remember. The next day my husband said, you did some crazy Sigorney Weaver ghost busters stuff last night. Suddenly I remembered. Oh my god. He heard me. He described my bretahing exactally as I had remembered it. Fast, frantic, almost hyperventillating. He said he was sure I was going to open my eyes at any moment and they were going to be blood red. He said he tried saying my name a few times and was afriad to touch me at first. He wasn't sure if I was having a bad dream or a seizure. When he finally touched my arm, he said my breathing calmed and I snuggled into the blankets and seemed to sleep comfortably. I've done some research on sleep paralasis. This seems to match what I am experiencing. My mind is awake but my body has shut down for sleep. Only automated breathing and eye control is left. The "buzzing" noise has been documented in many cases. I've considered writing a book about my accounts. Maybe it will help someone else suffering from the same thing. It is terrifying to be completely aware of your body, but have no control over it. I can't help but feel like I will stuck there forever.
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06-06-2008, 06:28 AM
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