I'm new to this but a few nigbts ago I had a dream that I just can't get out of my mind. My older sister passed away suddenly not quite a year ago. In my dream it was the present time and I was standing in a white room. Suddenly my sister appeared in the room (she was alive) and she asked me "you know why I came back, don't you?" I answered that I wasn't quite sure why, and suddenly without anything further being said she was dead and I knew that she wanted me to get her prepared for her funeral (mainly dyeing her hair). In reality we had had her cremated, but in my dream she wanted a regular funeral and she wanted me to make her presentable for viewing. This upset me very much, partly because of my natural reticence of touching a dead person and partly because I wanted so badly to get things just right for her. I kept wanting to get someone to help me but no one would help, and I was getting very upset because I couldn't get the color of her hair right. Finally somehow everyone was out at the gravesite and getting ready to bury my sister, and the only person who would help me with anything was a man I didn't know who drove a truck full of milk bottles or something similar.
When I woke up I was left with a terrible sense of loss and also of frustration at not getting any help with what needed to be done. Can someone help me figure out what all this means? My sister died without a will and I am co-administrator of her estate. We are currently trying to sell her house and it's been a difficult undertaking, as her house is in need of a lot of work. I'm wondering if the meaning of this dream is my sister trying to tell me that I need to fix up her house so we get it sold.

Hello First of all, I'm sorry about the death of your sister. You mentioned that she died suddenly. Maybe your dream is telling you that your sister wanted to do things in life that she wasn't able to do because she passed away. This could relate to her house, she probably trusts you to get it ready to sell.

I'm very sorry about your loss.

After someone dies, it's natural to think about all of the things that you did with/to them and worry if you did the right thing, because it's too late to ask them about it. I think this dream is about that.

The part of the dream where your sister wants to be cremated reflects that - one thing was done to her (she was buried) but she really wanted to be cremated.This doesn't mean that she actually wouldn't have been happy with how the funeral went in waking life, just that unconsciously (and perhaps consciously, too) you are reconsidering if you gave her what she wanted and needed when she was alive. This is also reflected in the part where you couldn't get her hair colour right.

You are probably still under a lot of stress because the death was not that long ago, and also because of what you have to do to co-administer her estate. In your dream, this shows up in the part where nobody except one man will help you.

Milk can represent nourishment, so perhaps the man who does help you represents some source of strength.

I don't think it is your sister telling you this, but the fact that the dream has made you think that you have to fix up the house means that you have probably known it all along, but you may have had other things on your mind and your unconscious is reminding you that it is important and using the dream to push it to the front of your mind.

After someone dies, it takes a long time to get over the stress and depression, but at the same time, society makes us go on with our everyday lives, so our dreaming can become very productive and helpful, making use of the only time when the waking world can leave us alone for a bit.