Hi everyone,

I'm new here and am looking forward to reading the posts.

I'm wondering if anyone can give me their thoughts on something: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 3 1/2 years now, seperated for 6 years. We're still friends although rarely ever see each other, mostly communicate thru email. I am engaged to aman I've been with for almost 4 years now and am happy with him. However, I dream about my ex-husband constantly. And I mean CONSTANTLY. I seem to go thru spurts of every night and then it'll slack off for a while and now I'm doing it again wayyyyy more than I'd like. Nine times out of ten these dreams are sexual in nature. While I care about him as a person, I am much better off with my fiance so I can't figure out why I keep dreaming this stuff. Does anyone have some insight??

Thank you for your help,
rachelwannabe

Hi and welcome!

I find that true for myself as well. It's not just old relationships that I often dream about, but old jobs as well. Why those things from the past keep pushing their way into your present conscious is a mystery. I sometimes think it's because they were such an influence and constant presence in the past that the memory lingers.

You can try to change what you dream. Before going to sleep, form a picture in your mind of your fiance or something pleasant you'd like to dream about and eventually you will. It may take several nights of doing this, maybe up to a week, but you will begin to dream about other things. Keep in mind too, that the more contact you have with your ex (even in email) the more he will be on your mind. The more on your mind he'll be, the more likely you'll dream about him. Focus on other things.

Good luck!