Hi,

I am going through a period of grief because of the death of some one close and I sleep sporadically. Last night I slept heavily and had a lot of weird dreams that have left me even more confused than before.

I dreamt I was married (I'm in fact single) and lived in a big house filled with people. My husband did not play any major part in the dream; I just knew that I was married. The house was filled with relatives and friends of my husband. They all seemed to come from another country than mine and was of another culture. In the dream I tried to do some home repairs; using a drill to hang something. I was told that I could not do that; I wasn't competent enough to do it or I just wasn't allowed (I don't remember which). I caused a great big scene because of this and went on complaining (to my husband, maybe?) Lot's of screeming and shouting went on in the house but I cannot remember all the details. I remember I was young (younger than I am Today) and displayed a wild temperament (which I definitely don't have normally). In the end I got a staple gun or drill and flew around the walls drilling and fixing. I actually could fly or at least glide up the walls. The house had a very high cealing and open room sollution, all white walls and visible roof beams. The sentiment of the dream was frustration and anger.

I woke up exhausted.

Hi Karin,

I think the fact that you slept heavily for the first time and had lots of weird dreams is a sign that you are moving on in the healing process; your dreams are your unconscious mind's way of trying to help you deal with what has been going on

A dream that you were married could signal a need for closeness or intimacy. The marriage could also represent your relationship with the deceased person - even if it wasn't a romantic or sexual relationship, the marriage could represent the closeness that you had with that person, which you have now lost.

The family coming from another culture could have to do with the fact that the loss of a loved one changes you - so that you are, in a way, in a different world (a world without that person.)

The other country could also signify that the deceased (your husband in the dream) is now among people in a different place - the afterlife or wherever you believe people go when they die.

Having to do repairs but not being able to - part of your unconscious wants to fix things to make them as they were before, but you are coming to terms with the fact that it isn't possible.

The big scene you caused is an expression of the anger you feel about the death. (Anger is one of the stages of grief.)

Since you don't have a wild temperament in waking life, the dream was probably a good way of letting out some of your anger and frustration regarding the death.

Hi and thanks for your reply!

You might be right that the dreams come once I've come into the next phase of loss and can finally sleep. After this dream I've done intense dreaming every night, including living through some horrible night mares.

I don't know about the marriage signifying my relationship with the deceased, but I think the dream might indicate how different I feel now. The person in the dream who "played me" really was my absolute opposite. She was small, dark, dark eyed and temperamental while I am in fact tall, blond, green eyed and very mild. The house did remind me of my childhood house; not the inside of the house - but from the outside. I suppose I will have to focus on dreaming some more to clarify what it was all about.

Thank you!
Karin

Good luck Karin. And sorry for your loss.