I'm a twenty year old female, in a serious relationship. My fiancé and I are sexually active but we use protection (I'm on the pill, not that it has anything to do with the dream...). For the past couple nights I keep having this dream that I have a baby, I don't know I'm pregnant and I never show any signs, just all of a sudden I have a baby. But I feel like I'm too young and I get so scared and start crying and wondering if I should give the baby up for adoption because I know nothing about babies and have no idea how to raise it. For the majority of the dream I'm going back and forth about what to do. I remember being so upset through most of it, I'm crying and scared. I ask my fiancé what he thinks we should do and he tells me its my choice that he wants to have children with me but he knows I'm young and supports whatever decision I make. The baby is a girl, and I'm looking for advice and asking someone (I don't know who it was) what I should do and I say that she's "so perfect, she's beautiful, and she's so good. She never cries." Then before I ever decide what to do, the baby dies, and I wake up.


Does anyone have any idea what this dream could mean? I'd really love to hear some thoughts and opinions about this! Thank you

I think in any really serious relationship that sex is involved the thought of babies come up in your mind. I think you're afraid to have a kid because you're young and think you might mess up with not being able to support it or something goes wrong and it dies. I agree that you're too young if you're saying you're too young, i think that if you have to think about it then you're too young. Having a dream about a baby doesn't mean that you're going to have one, i don't think. I think it's just in your mind and you might want one and in the back of your mind you really might want one but know you can't handle one now. I think it's like a what if scenario where what if you have a baby what would it be like and your mind is playing through what it would be like. You're scared and not ready for it and your mind is telling you that. I'm sorry if this is really confusing.

I think Dream Girl is probably right; but you might take a look at your life. Are there some long-term projects you are thinking of starting? ("Giving birth" to?) A baby is a decades-long commitment, and at 20 you face others such as career, whether to marry, - generally, what to make of your life. Those choices can also be frightening, they're long term and, if they prove mistaken, can be awkward and even nearly impossible to change.
I might say that, whether the issue is pregnancy itself or some of these other situations, I think your dream is essentially a healthy one. What can you do so that, when the time(s) come, you'll be better able to evaluate the options and make your best decision? What can you do to prepare yourself for the sense of uncertainty that can follow a major decision?

DreamGirl: I agree Im too young, I know I am. What you said isnt confusing, I definitely understand what your saying. I've never wanted children, swore up and down my whole life that I wouldnt ever have kids. But now in the relationship that Im in, Im starting to think about it more, starting to open up to the idea. Maybe thats where some of the uncertainty in my dream is coming from?

BobW: I feel like your dead on with the "long- term projects", at 20 I've recently moved (with my fiancé) 1500 miles away from my family, and friends in an attempt to start a new life, and have recently been thinking about a change in career, as well as marrying and having children. I like your thought that one of those things could be represenative of the baby in my dream.