I usually don't remember my dreams and when I do I usually don't give much notice to them, but last night I had a very disturbing dream that I can't get out of my head.

The dream was about some kind of separate realm of existence that discovered how to enter. In the dream it was a place that a few people had heard of, and there was a small community of people all over the world actively searching for a way to enter it. I accessed this place by going to the 202nd floor of a tall building, which had normal people in it, and climbing out the window.

Instead of falling to the ground, I found myself in a black and white world. I understood that I still hadn't accessed the realm, but that I was in some kind of limbo connecting it to the real world, and that I would have to complete another test to get in. I had to jump into a pool and let a dark figure hold me under to the point that I should be drowned. This is one of the few parts of the dream I remember feeling any fear. Like the window though, instead of dying I was given full access to the realm. The area around me was about the size of a basketball court and everything outside that was black. There were a few people walking around but one man seemed to be in charge. Everyone there had the ability to manipulate this world in any way they wanted, and he seemed to be teaching me and the rest of the people how to do it. This whole part of the dream had a very disturbing feel to it. There was a deep seated mutual understanding among everyone that we were all breaking the rules of reality, and that we would all pay for it eventually.

- - At some point around here I 'realized' that this wasn't my first time going there, but that I'd been there many times. I'm not sure if I was remembering having had the dream before, or if remembering this place was just part of the dream. At another point which I can't remember, I was able to return temporarily to the 'real' world, but I was sent back in time. My father called to ask me to go to a football game, and I said yes, with the understanding that I had said no the first time around and that this was my second chance to spend time with my father. (this is the only part of the dream I can remotely understand. My father and I have had a troubled relationship and only in the past few years have we learned to get along) --

After trying out my new 'powers' for a while, I decided I wanted to see if I could fly. I never got to try though, because when I looked at my hand I saw it start to fade, and realized I could only spend so much time in this world before I would be stuck there forever. I left the the same way I came in, but on the way out back in the limbo I noticed a small apartment complex. I opened the first door and instantly heard a violent yelling/screaming from inside and felt rumbling. I closed the door as quickly as possible, very scared. I went to a second apartment which had two regular guys living there, except for the fact that they knew about the realm they were in and gave me information on it.

After that I left and returned to the 'real' world. I found a close friend of mine who I knew would want to hear about this. I asked him if he had heard of this place, and he said he had read about it and was shocked to hear I knew how to access it. The entire process of entering the realm was played out again, except this time I was coaching my friend how to get there. I can't remember what happened after that.

This dream disturbed me for a few reasons. First the fact that I remembered it so vividly, which I never do. Secondly for the feeling throughout the entire dream that was so strong, which was that I was defying reality, and even God. And lastly because I felt so strongly that I had done this all before, which makes me wonder if I've had the dream before and forgotten about it. For the past few hours I've felt compelled to tell someone every little detail about what happened, which is what brought me here. I'm not sure what kind of response I'm expecting, but I would love to hear someone's thoughts on what this means.

It sounds like the separate realm of existence represents something in your unconscious, and the dream is about exploring something in yourself that has been hidden from you - maybe something you have been repressing because it would be very disturbing.

The first step of getting to the realm is a very dangerous one - you climb out of a high window - because trying to access whatever you are repressing seems very risky/dangerous.

The black and white world could have to do with the idea of things not being "black and white". Your unconscious is telling you that there are deeper explanations for things, that's why you can't stay in the black and white world - you have to move on.

Water is also a symbol of the unconscious and the emotions, so jumping in the pool and then being held down could have to do with your fear of what might happen if you allow yourself to face your memories/emotions and lose control over them. A pool is an artificially contained body of water, so that also has to do with control.

Dying in a dream is often associated with moving to another life stage or another state, so the parts of the dream where you almost die can be about moving to another "level" mentally.

I think the fear about "breaking the rules of reality" could have to do with a fear of what will happen if these thoughts are no longer repressed. Maybe it will change your reality and how you perceive the waking life world.

It's possible that this has to do with your relationship with your father, which is why he was mentioned in the dream. Maybe in order to get along with your father, you have had to "forget" about some things that he has done.

Flying has to do with freedom, so it's interesting that you want to fly but you never get the chance to do it.

The doors in the apartment complex sound like they could be doors to different memories/thoughts in your unconscious.

I think the friend who was shocked that you knew how to access this place is a part of yourself that is worried about what will happen if you do try to access this part of your unconscious.

I think the reason that you have such a strong feeling that you were defying reality, or God, is that you have been repressing these thoughts/memories for a reason and your unconscious is making you feel this way so you don't access thoughts that are too painful too quickly. It's a safety measure.